Premarital Couples Counseling
In person in San Francisco, Berkeley, and online across California.
Practical tools to talk about money, family, intimacy, and the life you are building together.
Premarital counseling is structured, short-term work for partners who want to build an intentional foundation for their life together.
Premarital counseling is structured, short-term work for partners who want to build an intentional foundation for their life together. You learn and practice practical Gottman and Prepare/Enrich tools to master the mechanics of relational communication and strengthen your partnership before major shared life transitions arrive.
This is the version where you compare them on purpose and early on.
We are born with an innate need for connection but none of us are born knowing how to do long-term partnership. Most of us inherit a blueprint from the family we grew up in, and most couples never compare theirs until something forces the conversation. This is the version where you compare them on purpose and early on.
I completed Gottman training through Levels 1-3, and I am a Certified Prepare/Enrich Facilitator. I see couples in person at my San Francisco and Berkeley offices, and online anywhere in California.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
You may recognize some of these feelings:
You are connected and want to strengthen things before life gets more complicated.
You want concrete tools, because nobody is born knowing how to do partnership.
You want to de-escalate and repair fast, so you always stay on the same team.
You want a clear way to talk about money, sex, boundaries, needs, family and life goals.
You are noticing your family blueprints for conflict (and connection) are very different.
You avoid the hard topics to keep the peace.
None of this means something is wrong. Most couples arrive here connected and curious, which is the easiest possible place to start.
The Chapter You're About to Write
The Premarital Counseling Tools We Use
Certified Prepare/Enrich Facilitation
An evidence-based assessment that maps your strengths and growth areas, then gives us structured data on finances, roles, values, and long-term vision.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Research-backed tools for healthy conflict mechanics: catching the Four Horsemen, repairing early and often, de-escalating, and building daily rituals of connection.
Attachment and family-of-origin mapping
We surface the relational blueprints each of you brings from childhood, so inherited expectations about closeness and conflict stop running the show.
IFS and IFIO informed
Mapping the protectors and other parts with compassion, so you both understand how automatic reflexes like attacking, pleasing, or shutting down get triggered.
Somatic and nervous system attunement
Tracking how stress lands in the body, the clenching and the shallow breathing, and learning to self-soothe and co-regulate during hard conversations.
Rituals of connection
Building the small, deliberate habits that keep friendship, laughter, play and spark alive through the busy chapters that are coming.
Intimacy and desire
The performance pressure, the mismatched needs, and the way physical connection turns into one more item on a list.
Family of origin and boundaries
The inherited blueprints each of you brought, and where extended family involvement ends and your partnership begins.
Future planning and shared meaning
Aligning on the unwritten life chapters - career moves, long-term wealth, aging parents, and personal dreams—so you build a shared vision instead of living parallel lives.
Autonomy vs. fusion (The "Me" vs. "We")
How to stay anchored in your own identity, voice, and boundaries without emotionally disconnecting or self-abandoning just to keep the peace.
How I Approach Our Sessions
Review the draft
Through assessment, we slow down and look at the invisible assumptions, cultural blueprints, and unspoken expectations each of you carries about money, roles, family planning, emotional and physical intimacy, career ambitions, and boundaries.
Listen to the story underneath
Because stories take up residence in the body, we track how stress, fight-or-flight reflexes, and defensive holding physically show up, and we learn to calm the nervous system during hard conversations.
Unpack inherited scripts
We untangle the childhood blueprints and survival armor you both inherited, honoring how those roles once kept you safe while making sure old family scripts do not dictate your dynamic.
Upgrade the relational mechanics
We look directly at how you navigate friction, replacing circular arguments or tension-avoiding silence with clear, collaborative repair tools so you stay on the same team.
Co-author the next chapter
We create intentional ongoing connection rituals, align on shared meaning, and pick up the pen to consciously co-author a partnership built to last.
None of this is a guarantee against hard seasons. It is a way of meeting them with tools you built on purpose.
Premarital counseling is for you, if:
You are engaged, planning a wedding, or committed and building a life together
You want to proactively learn tools and skills to build an intentional shared roadmap together
You are finding that the two of you inherited very different family blueprints and want to create your own script
Ready to Write the Next Chapter?
Book a consultation
Reach out through the booking link. We talk through what you are hoping to build and whether this is the right fit
Complete an Assessment
You each take the assessment, and we review your results together to see where your strengths and your growth areas sit.
Build the Roadmap
We work through the areas that matter most to you, then finish with rituals and repair tools you take with you.
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Absolutely. Proactive, self-aware couples excited to do this work are some of my favorite people to work with. Life doesn't come with a relationship manual, and nobody is born knowing how to navigate long-term partnership. You do not need to wait for gridlock, simmering resentment, or the post-honeymoon crash to build your toolkit. This is a conscious investment in your shared foundation, and it gives you concrete tools to de-escalate tension and align on unspoken life blueprints before major transitions hit.
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Prepare/Enrich is an evidence-based relationship assessment that each of you completes separately. It maps where you already agree, where you differ, and where the pressure points sit across finances, roles, family expectations, intimacy, values, and long-term vision. I am a Certified Facilitator, which means I am trained to administer it and walk you through what the results mean.
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Money and financial styles, division of domestic labor, family-of-origin expectations, boundaries with extended family, career compromises, intimacy, parenting plans if children are part of the picture, and how the two of you handle conflict and connection. The assessment tells us which of those need the most time, so we spend it where it matters rather than working through a generic checklist.
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I step in when someone is violating our agreements. I do not do passive nodding or sterile refereeing. In my practice the person is never the problem. The systemic dance and the protective armor are the problem. My role is to track your communication patterns out loud, name the hidden dynamics, and give direct, collaborative feedback so both of you feel heard, respected, and accountable to the partnership.
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It is generally a focused, short-term engagement, typically 6 to 10 sessions depending on your goals and your schedule. We can map a rough shape in the consultation once I know what you are hoping to cover.
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For out-of-network and private pay, sessions are $235 for 50 minutes and $282 for 60 minutes, pro-rated at $4.70 per additional minute if we need more time. We can talk through what fits during the consultation.
Frequently Asked Questions